Hi, friends! My name is Brooklyn. My husband, Trevor and I have been together for almost seven years. We have grown a lot throughout the many challenges we’ve faced. Loving each other through each of our personal storms has made us a stronger couple rooted in our faith and love for God. We recently decided to create a dynamic platform that strives to help people build stronger, Christ-centered relationships with others and with God. Each of our blogs, podcasts, and books share a glimpse into our relationship with each other as well as our relationship with God.
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In a world where traditional gender roles are often questioned and challenged, the concept of submitting, respecting, and trusting a husband's leadership within a Christian marriage can be a difficult topic of discussion. However, for those who wholeheartedly believe in the power of their faith, this dynamic can bring about a beautiful dance of partnership and a strong foundation for building a lasting relationship. In this blog post, we will explore how allowing your husband to be the head of your household positively impacts a marriage through both biblical references and my personal experiences.
1. Acknowledge the Act of Submission, Respect, and Trust
Integrating submission, respect, and trust in your marriage can be a very difficult task. With the amount of pride, ego, and control in our lives as women today, it takes a lot of strength, confidence, and self-awareness to fully relinquish this amount of control. Many women, to put it simply, struggle with these three areas - making it extremely difficult and near impossible to accomplish this goal.
If any of you know me, you will know that this was a very confusing and frustrating part of my marriage early on. Growing up, I have always been extremely independent, emotionally aware, and in the mindset that I always needed to be in complete control of my life and the consequences of my actions. As you may have guessed, this attitude did not translate well within my marriage. It was a constant battle between the two of us. Who was going to get the last word? Who was going to overpower the other and get the final say? To be quite frank with you, it sucked. There was no unity or structure within our marriage - leaving us angry, annoyed, and constantly at war with the wrong enemy. It wasn’t until I started looking into other marriages and turning to God’s advice that I began recognizing the major issue I was creating for myself and for Trevor.
2. Recognize God-Given Roles
God’s roles differ for husband and wife. Husbands are to love their wives, and wives are to respect their husbands. Each are important and the key to a successful and fulfilling marriage. As a wife, submitting to a husband's leadership is not about being powerless or voiceless, but rather about finding strength in surrender and humility. Ephesians 5:22-24 reminds us of the importance of mutual respect and trust within a marriage. It reads, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Through learning how to submit to our husbands, in turn, we are learning how to give our lives and be led by God. Embracing the God-given roles of husband and wife allows a way for couples to navigate decisions and challenges together with a sense of purpose and direction.
3. Engage in Open and Honest Communication
The dance of partnership within a Christian marriage involves open and honest communication. Both partners bring their perspectives to the table, actively listening and being receptive to each other's points of view. While the wife is encouraged and welcome to express her thoughts and ideas, ultimately, she should trust the husband's leadership to allow for final decisions to be made.
Open and honest communication can be seen as I implement submission in my marriage. One way I practice submission is by deferring to Trevor's decision-making in our family. For instance: when it comes to financial matters, Trevor and I discuss our goals and priorities, work together to create a sound budget, but then ultimately, I trust Trevor to make informed choices that align with our family's well-being. This submission is not out of weakness, but rather a demonstration of respect and trust in Trevor's ability to lead us in making wise and responsible decisions.
Think about your marriage for a moment. Do you typically make all of the decisions? Do you get upset and frustrated when something isn’t done “your way?” Or.. Do you show your husband that you recognize his role as a leader and let him have the final say?
4. Value Each Other's Perspectives:
Trevor and I are better able to value each other’s perspectives when he doesn’t have to beg for my respect. Respecting Trevor's leadership means valuing his opinions and his insights. When Trevor expresses his thoughts or ideas, I must actively listen and consider them with an open mind. I then get to show him respect by acknowledging his ability and understanding in certain areas and appreciating the unique perspective he brings to our discussions. By doing so, I, as his wife, create an environment of mutual respect where we can both grow and learn from each other. This safe environment opens him up to the desire to understand my thoughts, opinions, and feelings around a specific topic.
Within your marriage, do you find yourself dismissing your husband’s opinions? Do you make him feel small, unimportant, and inadequate when it comes to big decisions? Or… Do you truly seek to understand his viewpoint just as much as you expect him to value your viewpoint?
5. Trust in God's Guidance:
In order to trust in God’s guidance, I must also trust Trevor. Trusting Trevor involves having faith in his character, integrity, and judgment. An example of this trust in action is when we face challenging situations or unexpected circumstances. Rather than becoming anxious or trying to take control, I trust Trevor's ability to handle the situation wisely. I know that he seeks his guidance from God and relies on his knowledge and experience to navigate us through difficult times. Proverbs 3:5-6 reads, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding; In all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.” This scripture reminds us to trust in God's plan and, in turn, trust in our spouse because he is the one directly appointed by God to be the leader in our marriage.
When looking at your life, do you struggle with overwhelming anxiety? Do you try to control every aspect of your life and the life of your husband and/or children? Or… Do you believe that your husband is a man willing to put you and your family's needs and care above his own selfish desires?
Final Thoughts
By practicing submission, respect, and trust, recognizing God-given roles, engaging in open and honest communication, valuing each other's perspectives, and trusting in God’s guidance, couples can build a strong foundation grounded in mutual love and respect. Embracing this partnership not only strengthens the marital bond but also honors God's plan for marriage. As walls are built on love and respect, the temptations of the outside world are less likely to penetrate the relationship. By prioritizing faith and embracing the overall sense of partnership, couples can experience a deeply fulfilling and lasting marriage.
Thank you for reading today's post. Information can also be listened to through our podcast and on YouTube. If you have any questions or future topic suggestions, feel free to comment on any of my social media posts or message me directly. All platforms can be accessed through clicking the link below.
In Christian Love,
Brooklyn Bostwick
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